An Assignment in October
by nin-anna
Summary: Aomine Daiki finds Kise Ryouta smoking at the rooftop after a photoshoot... Kise is a little despaired, a little bored, a little cold, and very, very beautiful - like the month they are in, October. However, like October is, like Autumn is, an sign of things to come, an omen of change, perhaps this is too.


_(I imagined Kise smoking and realised that it would actually be very alluring though I am personally not fond of cigarettes, it is just visually irresistible... So that idea stuck on and I wanted to write something where Kise would smoke. That's pretty much the whole reason why this exists. I also like to think that Kise, if he had never met Aomine, would be a rather dull person inside; I don't think he would be suicidal and self-hating as some put him to be, I never really see him as that sort of a person, but I think he would be a little despaired and depressed and truly very very bored. So yeah.) _

* * *

His blond hair fluttered with the wind, performing an almost enchanting dance, mingling with the white fumes of the smoke he exhaled slowly. Cigarette both suited him and not suited him perfectly. It was very much against his innocent and always so youthful face, and it seemed especially sinful considering his child-like behaviour and athletic, healthy lifestyle. Yet it was also very much complementary to the focused gaze he gave to the cityscape in front of him now, lost in thoughts, the soft rosy lips that curved around the thin cylinder looked especially alluring, and each time he inhaled and exhaled the smoke, the small "o" shape his lips made, the way the cigarette was wrapped so skilfully and almost playfully between his fingers; it was seductive. Perhaps this was the reason why Aomine simply watched him in silence for a few seconds after finally finding him on the rooftop, instead of announcing his arrival and dragging him back.

There was some kind of longing, some kind of sadness in his eyes now that none of his fans had ever had the chance to see and would probably never even imagine him with any way... The blond model was known to be an always cheerful, bubbly, and joyful of pocket of sunshine but the truth was nobody could be happy all the time, "_especially when they are being threatened with violence and stalked_" Aomine added in his mind as he watched Kise Ryouta perform perhaps one of the most mundane tasks ever, smoking a cigarette at the rooftop, yet managing to look absolutely captivating even then...

"Oi!" he said as he moved near the blond towards the railings and the man turned to him in surprise,

"Oh... Aominecchi."

The nickname was very stupid and would not fit to the tone or the lips of any other twenty something but Kise; somehow it did not feel forced coming from Kise's lips, on the contrary it sounded very much natural when uttered by this man. Aomine would dare say that he had gotten used to it over these few days they spent together but he would never admit it. He had even thrown a fit when he had been first called as such by the model but Kise had insisted it was because he had respected him, that he only called people he respected with nicknames, and Aomine had to relent for if there was anything greater than his grumpiness it was his pride and it rather caressed, tickled, entertained his pride to be "respected" by such a well established and well known person.

"I didn't know you smoked..." Aomine said giving an inquisitive look at the cigarette that was neatly stuck between the full lips of the blond, who blushed a little in return, taking the cigarette out of his mouth with another exhale which, now up and close, was even more enticing than Aomine had initially thought,

"I don't... not really. Very, very rarely. Like three times a year or so perhaps. Just one too at a time. It is a thing... I guess, I just need it. Or rather it helps? I don't know... This is my second so far this year and well we are only a couple of months away from the year's end right."

"So you smoke only in certain situations? When you are... nervous? Scared?"

That was a stupid question. Obviously he was nervous. Obviously he was scared. He was being stalked and threatened. He had received ricin laced letters of hate and stalked in the streets for many many nights. It was a stupid question to ask. Anybody would be scared. Anybody would want to lose their worries in alcohol and cigarettes at times like this.

"Yes, I guess I only smoke in certain situations and yes, I am nervous and a little scared, I guess anybody would be in this situation, but I am not really smoking because of that... I am just tired... and bored... and a little despaired I guess. I smoke rather out of despair than anything else..."

Despair? Was there anything that looked to be more antagonistic to Kise Ryouta? Yet Aomine could see it now, the focused gaze of his eyes had a peculiarly sad and tired aspect to it, the way his lips lined not in a smile, not in a frown, but in "something" that somehow expressed dissatisfaction perfectly. The way every exhale of the smoke was almost like a sigh... And in that moment despite just how alluring he looked smoking, like one of those film noir femme fatales, Aomine took away the cigarette from Kise's hand and threw it away towards the street in a single move and Kise was shocked,

"Ao-Aominecchi! What are you doing?!"

"Cigarettes are bad for your health."

"I-I told you I just smoke maybe once or twice, at top three times a year! Jeez... and don't litter, aren't you supposed to be a police officer?!"

The childish pouting that Aomine had grown so used to in the recent days had settled on Kise's lips and Aomine much preferred this pout to the despair induced melancholic not-smile not-frown god-knows-what from a second ago. Kise's gaze returned to the city then, his empty hands holding onto the railings in a strong grip, a few seconds of silence passed and Kise must have been thinking something and perhaps felt strange thinking so intently and silently near Aomine without expressing his thoughts even a bit, so he started. His voice was a little strained.

"I knew him... you know."

"I know."

"We were young... We were in the same modelling agency. He had been doing modelling far longer than I. His body type was similar to mine; a pretty face and an athletic body. Even our heights and manners were similar. We even did some gigs together. He was... okay; our personalities differed quite a bit but he was okay, he was talented, I thought he was a good person. As we got more and more famous, he lost it more and more, he would drink a lot, fool around a lot, he would miss the appointments and events because of his hangovers or simply because he 'forgot' and his manager would be very mad... His lack of professionalism... I think that was why, he slowly faded away, he got less and less jobs and at that time I was doing so good. I was opposite of him you know, I had started only to keep myself entertained but I liked this job. Perhaps I am vain but I loved people looking at me fondly and I loved making them happy, making them cheer... And honestly, there is absolutely nothing else in my life. I excel at everything and everything boring. I could do anything or do nothing and it pretty much feels the same... But at least when I achieve something in modelling, I get to see people's happy faces. I get to feel some kind of love and appreciation from them and it is sincere too if not very personal... I came to like this job..."

Aomine did not say anything for most of the things Kise had uttered, except the last part perhaps, were things he already knew; he was briefed before he took the assignment and he had also talked with Kise the first day of his duty as well. He did not like bodyguard assignments, especially to famous people as it was extra bothersome always but he was diligent and dutiful regardless. It was his job to protect this man so he had to know, he had to understand the threat very well. But then Kise was talking just to talk, just to say these out loud, to get them off his chest, so perhaps the mood did not really require Aomine to say anything anyway, and perhaps that was why Kise continued albeit the silence.

"How... how did it turn into this? Why does he hate me so much? Why would he do something like this? Destroy his whole life, any potential of a career... for what? Jealousy? Envy? Blaming me for what? His own failings? How is that going to help him? How is it going to help him to kill me or hurt me or throw acid to my face as he so happily described or cut my throat he graphically illustrated in his letters? I don't get him. I don't get this. I don't get this at all. I literally cannot sleep at night because I am too bewildered and always lost in the thought of 'why' just 'why'."

"It is normal to be afraid..."

"I know and I am a little afraid but I am not saying these because I am afraid... I am a strong person, you know."

"Well you are. You are in very good shape, too."

"When I said I am strong I was not referring to my build and I would never confront him, not because I am afraid of it necessarily but..." Kise sighed and paused for a second as if to collect his scattered thoughts, when he started speaking again there was a special decisiveness in his voice.

"I am diligent at my job. I trust myself, I have confidence. I am strong both in body and mind. But I don't like confrontations because they always bring anger and hurt and I don't like either of those; not for myself but also not for the other party. I... I cannot imagine hurting somebody. The thought alone disturbs me so much. The anger, the hate it may signal, it may have been born from... These are alien to me. And that is why, that is why I just cannot understand him, I just cannot understand this situation despite having faced similar ones in the past too, not to this degree of course but... This hate... how could he have accumulated so much hate for me? I did not hurt him, I did not harm him in anyway, so how? How could one hate another so much? How could one desire to hurt another so much? This is so terrifying and saddening to me, I cannot put it in words. Sure I am a little scared, sure I don't know what I would do if I was literally attacked, but all this hate, all this hurt, all this anger at me... These are things that keep me awake at night. And, I pity him the most. And even that feels cruel sometimes, I feel that pitying him is perhaps the worst, it would drive him crazy... It is so stupid when you think of it; I don't even like the way I am, my own comfort and the ease of my achievements disturb me, annoy me the most yet I am also hated precisely for them. Perhaps... perhaps I should understand him, perhaps I act as if I don't get him but somewhere deep inside that I do because I despise the life I lead sometimes too, everything being granted so easily... But I could never accumulate so much hate. I have been annoyed and bored of myself but I never hated myself either... Ah... I am blabbering, aren't I? Do I even make sense? At all? I am not even sure what I am feeling or thinking, honestly, I just know that I am tired. Very tired. This is a pathetic situation and perhaps both him and I deserve only pity, even if it is cruel."

The man who pouted childishly at the smallest things, the man who cried from a paper cut, the man who could get drunk on a single glass of wine apparently – as Aomine had learnt just a night ago – could somehow speak so honestly about such dark feelings, expose the turmoil in his chest that was so mature in a way for he did not have the arrogance of a child and admitted his own lack of understanding and bountiful contradictions... Aomine had been able to handle Kise very well in his moments of immaturity but this... This moment of bared emotions of which the dominant one was so obviously despair, seemed rather hard to handle for Aomine, he was not sure what were the right words or right gestures. It seemed as though the words would not and could not relay the assurance here, a touch was necessary, and sure he had touched him – when dragging him away, even carrying him on his back when the blond had gotten drunk, but this was a different moment and required a different kind of touch, one of sentimentality and understanding, and could Aomine ever give such a tender touch? Could anybody, but a lover? So he sighed. His watch showed that they would be late to the next appointment if they stayed on the rooftop for another five minutes. Sun was setting beautifully and Kise was watching it beautifully but they had to go; Kise still had two events to attend, one exhibition by a well known photographer and Kise had been among the models who was photographed for the exhibition, and then there was the re-launch party of a fashion magazine.

So he touched Kise's shoulder slightly and there was really no need for a touch nor was this exactly the kind of touch that was required in this moment's peculiar set of emotions but this was all Aomine could give and could relent to so he patted the shoulder of the blond man who was at most 4 or 5 centimetres shorter than him,

"We got to get going, you still have the exhibition to attend to..."

Kise nodded and smiled, a smile out of courtesy and a smile of duty it was, nothing else. They moved towards the door to take the stairs down and then a particularly strong wind grazed them and Kise almost instinctively held on to Aomine's arm, wrapping his arms so quickly and strongly around his bodyguard's, their bodies touching each other closely on the sides, and Aomine liked to think it was because of the cold wind of early October that had just blew over them and not anything else and he thought that perhaps he did not mind even if it was anything else and he would never really know the truth because he knew that Kise was not so naïve and would sometimes lace the situations with subtle gestures but then he did not mind and he did not care and there was a small smile that had settled on the blond's face; not a smile out of courtesy, not a smile of duty, but a small smile of content and Aomine felt better seeing that.

Kise held on to Aomine's arm till they reached the car, only then they were separated as Kise's hand released his grip and his arm snaked away and Aomine felt an immediate coldness on his arm; the realisation of how every single gesture of Kise affected him, how every single touch by Kise left their legacy on his body was not very pleasing to Aomine as it wavered the resolve man had inside about keeping his distance, ensuring that the boundaries were not transgressed. He was the bodyguard and Kise was his assignment, they had been practically strangers till only a week ago, anything to blur these lines could be very detrimental to both in ways more than one. So he did not let his realisation, his doubts, his concerns show on his face; as indifferent as ever he entered the car and Kise's driver started moving the car as Aomine shut the door behind him. He sighed and looked outside the window from his side, Kise seemed to be doing the same.

Weather was exceptionally cold for October and the bustling city was already dazzling with its million shades of all the colours of the rainbow and Aomine wondered just how this particular assignment would end, just where they would "go"... then he felt a hand, a warm hand sneak over his that was resting on the seat of the car and fingers make their way between his, enclosing Aomine's hand and holding it on the spot, a slight touch of security, a small gesture of confidence, a shared secret... no words were spoken.

When Aomine moved his head to the side and still saw Kise looking outside with tired eyes, a prominent longing and search in his gaze, yet the colourful city lights danced playfully on his silky white face; quite ironic and quite truthful it was, this man full of vigour and joy yet what played out on his face was often only fake smiles and scripted cheer and inside he was bored, he was tired; bored and tired of perfection, of always being able to attain what he wanted... And Aomine understood this boredom very well, he had to deal with his own at a young age and he had only been able to deal with it thanks to his friends who had pulled him up and shown him the way and perhaps Kise never had such friends. No, Aomine knew, had learnt over the days spent together that Kise definitely did not have such friends. Kise had not met that one person who would show him otherwise.

Aomine returned his gaze to the car's window as well, noises of the traffic dominated the background and the car was moving very slowly due to congestions of the rush hour, they would be late probably and neither really cared... Aomine closed his eyes and tried to feel the lights of the city engulfing them in different shades, the strange chaotic lullaby of the traffic soothed him and the warmth of the hand above his, the affection of the fingers entangled suddenly felt like an omen of things to come...

And Aomine wished, he so dearly, so sincerely, so strongly wished inside that he could be that one person to show Kise... perhaps after his assignment was over.


End file.
